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As a burnout coach, too often I\u2019ve heard about high achievers burning out due to work related demands. Certainly, if your job is asking too much from you in too little time, it will create overwhelm and stress. Over time, that stress becomes chronic and you find yourself burning out.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n But unbeknownst to many high achievers, the demands placed on them often come from the inside as well. In this article, we explore the effects of these internal demands on stress at work including where those demands stem from and an unexpected solution to overdoing it at work.<\/span><\/p>\n Taken from <\/span><\/i>The 7E Solution to Burnout: Transforming High Achievers from Exhausted to Extraordinary by Dr. Sharon Grossman<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n What is a high achiever? According to Merriam-Webster dictionary, it is \u201ca person who is hardworking and successful.\u201d That implies that your input creates your output. You have to have motivation which translates into tremendous effort and that will lead you to success. But surely, that can\u2019t be the whole story because there are lots of people who work hard but aren\u2019t successful and there are people out there who are successful but perhaps don\u2019t work so hard. By its name, the term \u2018high achiever\u2019 implies that you <\/span>are<\/span><\/i> successful, but in this article, we will focus more on the person, the \u2018high aimer\u2019 because it is the mindset of the person that gets translated into action. We will explore the mindset and efforts that lead to ultimate success.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n People who are ambitious often work very hard to attain their goals. They have an inner drive to prove themselves, to succeed, and to be recognized for their accomplishments. Many of them set the bar very high and don\u2019t settle for mediocrity. Even when everyone around them believes their work is exceptional, the high aimers may not be satisfied. That is indicative of a perfectionistic mindset.<\/span><\/p>\n When you are a perfectionist, you aren\u2019t perfect. You just want everything you do to <\/span>be<\/span><\/i> perfect. You may have unrelenting standards where you feel like nothing you do is good enough. This keeps you striving to do better, do more, and can create the opposite effect of what you want.<\/span><\/p>\n Some of the biggest problems perfectionists face include a critical inner voice that tells them they aren\u2019t good enough, a fear of failure, and a tendency toward procrastination. This trifecta is crucial to understanding what drives high aimers who are perfectionists and what can lead them to burn out.<\/span><\/p>\n Our core beliefs get developed early on in life. One of the most common beliefs I\u2019ve seen in my clients is the belief of personal inadequacy. This belief drives us to focus on our productivity. By ensuring that what we <\/span>do<\/span><\/i> is good enough, we get a temporary sense of relief. It\u2019s as if we hope our output will be an indication that we <\/span>are<\/span><\/i> enough. The reason this doesn\u2019t work is exactly because it is temporary. As soon as we are done working on project x, we barely have any time to absorb our achievement. We are off to project y, hence the unrelenting nature of this mindset and the propensity towards burnout.<\/span><\/p>\n The other issue perfectionists face is the fear of failure which can lead to avoidance. If we don\u2019t believe in ourselves enough or if we worry so much about what other people think of us, we are less likely to take risks. This can lead to procrastination, where we put off our efforts until the last minute so that if we fail, we can save face by saying that we only really worked on the project for a very short time and it\u2019s not indicative of our true ability.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n There is a continuum between achievement motivation (AM) and failure avoidance or fear-of-failure (FF). This is known as<\/span> Relative Motive Strength<\/span><\/a> (RMS). When you are closer to the achievement end of the spectrum, you are more likely to associate your efforts on demanding tasks with positive outcomes such as \u201cdedication, concentration, commitment, and success.\u201d When you are more fearful of failing, you are more likely to associate effort on demanding tasks with negative outcomes such as feeling \u201coverloaded, stressed, obsessed,\u201d and burned out.<\/span><\/p>\n When you think about what is behind the difference between these two extremes, it is the way the person sees themself. Self-efficacy is the belief that you can be successful. This belief can be affected by your overarching core belief about personal adequacy or can be task specific. Either way, it is an illustration that when faced with demands from our external world, our thinking can shape how we perceive those demands and ourselves.<\/span><\/p>\n When you see yourself as adequate, you do not allow your failures to define you. You understand the importance of your long-term goals and that failure is part of the learning process. Alternatively, when you fear failure to the point of short-changing your efforts, it is because you see yourself as inadequate and want to avoid this point of pain which will confirm your beliefs. In short, it is about your inner dialogue, your self-judgment.<\/span><\/p>\n Both the AM and the FF individuals have a goal. The former is more focused on achievement. The latter is more focused on avoiding failure. Their actions will be different because of their varying focal points and their success rate will therefore clearly vary as well. As such, it is easy to see why FF individuals enter into a self-fulfilling prophecy where their lack of success becomes attributed to their inadequacies, which reinforces their avoidance of demanding tasks, thus linking their past, present, and future.<\/span><\/p>\n Most individuals fall somewhere in the middle of the RMS continuum. But if you are a perfectionist, you can end up on either end. That means that you may be able to reach great heights, but it will be at a cost, namely, to your state of balance.<\/span><\/p>\n So how can we achieve greatness <\/span>and<\/span><\/i> be more balanced? How can we attain success without burning out in the process? One answer to this dilemma lies in ancient philosophy.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Over 2,500 years ago in India, a monk began teaching what came to be known as the Middle Way. This monk, now known as Buddha, taught that the Middle Way was how you can be free from living in extremes. His teachings challenge much of how Westerners run their businesses and their lives.<\/span><\/p>\n Many of us, including high aimers and perfectionists, focus on what we can do. We busy our days with lists of tasks to accomplish and seem to never have enough time to get everything done. This is a very stressful way of living. Because we can feel buried by our work, we start to multi-task with the hope that we will get more done. But Buddhism teaches us that \u201cwhen one becomes two\u201d we fall out of balance. Focusing on multiple areas is a distraction and can lead to confusion. Instead, we need to master one area before moving on.<\/span><\/p>\n According to Buddhism, <\/span>doing<\/span><\/i> is the way of limitation. It is filled with our thoughts and judgments and creates a world of pleasure and pain. Instead, it proposes <\/span>action without doing<\/b>. That is, we have to get beyond our thoughts and that will make our actions perfect.<\/span><\/p>\n There are two targets in this art of nondoing. First, we look at <\/span>what not to do<\/b>. This helps us eliminate tasks from our list rather than continually adding more. This helps us focus on what\u2019s most important rather than multi-task and lose our integrity. This also includes not thinking and judging because this prevents us from action. This philosophy is in line with the saying \u201cless is more.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n Secondly, we focus on <\/span>how to do without doing<\/b>. So, rather than swimming against the current, allow the current to lead you. Every sailor knows that using the power of the wind can move the boat more forcefully in the direction you want rather than opposing the wind\u2019s strength. This translates into being flexible in our thinking and actions and building momentum on the existing structures around us.<\/span><\/p>\n Recall the first time you learned how to drive. There were so many aspects to think about. You may have wondered \u201chow do people make it look so easy?\u201d You had to be very focused to avoid making mistakes, to making sure you were safe and ensuring you followed the rules. It may have felt overwhelming to simultaneously think about signaling when changing lanes, slowing down with adequate space so as to not hit the driver at the stop sign in front of you, or merging onto the highway when there were fast moving cars flying by. But with lots of practice, your mental focus lessened. Now that you\u2019ve mastered driving, you likely have days that you get to work and don\u2019t even remember how you got there.<\/span><\/p>\n There are two lessons in this example. The first is that mastery comes with time and consistent practice, but until then, much mental energy is required. We may need to focus on strategy to get things done. With mastery, you are able to get into flow and engage in the task without being overly focused on it. You become one with the action.<\/span><\/p>\n The second lesson is that when we fall into habits, we can end up engaging in tasks mindlessly. However, this is quite different from nondoing. The key difference is awareness. Nondoing is doing with awareness which is different from unconscious action. It is intentional and comes from letting go of our thoughts and feelings which cloud our awareness.<\/span><\/p>\n According to spiritual teacher Samvara, perfection is achieved through a formula:<\/span><\/p>\n Tremendous Attention + Extreme Abandonment = Perfect Action<\/b><\/p>\n What he refers to is being very mindful and focused rather than having mere thoughts. It is about taking action without focusing on the outcome. It\u2019s like aiming your dagger at a target, pulling back the bow, and then letting the arrow go. You can\u2019t hit the target unless you release the arrow. Similarly, you have to be in the zone, hyper-focused on what you want, take action and then let go so you can move on to the next perfect action without judgment, worry, or fear about the outcome of the previous action.<\/span><\/p>\n It\u2019s about turning off the struggle. When you\u2019re faced with a problem, you head into the solution rather than looking for excuses or for whom to blame. This is differentiated from those who are stuck in their mind, who obsess over details, and who ruminate and become paralyzed. This is a way of doing but having little to show for it. As Samvara says, \u201cwhen you\u2019re doing, the shadow of the self is cast over everything.\u201d By this, he is referring to the ego. This is when we get caught up in what it means about us when we accomplish or fail and how others might perceive us. \u201cWhen you\u2019re not doing,\u201d he says, \u201ceverything you do exposes the light of truth.\u201d In essence, with perfect action, you are being authentic, you are in the moment, and whatever happens is a direct result of your mindset.<\/span><\/p>\nHigh Achievers and Unrelenting Standards<\/b><\/h3>\n
The Mindset of the High Aimer<\/b><\/h4>\n
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Relative Motive Strength<\/b><\/h4>\n
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The Art of Nondoing<\/b><\/h3>\n