{"id":4816,"date":"2022-03-29T02:35:14","date_gmt":"2022-03-28T21:05:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/drsharongrossman.com\/?p=4816"},"modified":"2023-02-03T14:23:46","modified_gmt":"2023-02-03T08:53:46","slug":"somewhere-between-achievement-and-burnout-is-balance","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/drsharongrossman.com\/somewhere-between-achievement-and-burnout-is-balance\/","title":{"rendered":"Somewhere Between Achievement and Burnout is Balance"},"content":{"rendered":"

[et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ admin_label=”section” _builder_version=”4.16″ da_disable_devices=”off|off|off” global_colors_info=”{}” da_is_popup=”off” da_exit_intent=”off” da_has_close=”on” da_alt_close=”off” da_dark_close=”off” da_not_modal=”on” da_is_singular=”off” da_with_loader=”off” da_has_shadow=”on”][et_pb_row admin_label=”row” _builder_version=”4.16″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n

Given that I\u2019m a burnout expert and coach, I often get asked about my burnout story. What I\u2019ve come to find out is that people who coach on burnout have come to that calling as a result of experiencing burnout firsthand, recovering, and then wanting to help others avoid their pitfall.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

While this Hero\u2019s Journey is quite normal and admirable, it\u2019s not my story at all. In fact, what makes my journey quite unique is that I\u2019ve avoided burnout altogether.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I am, no doubt, a high achiever \u2013 someone who could have easily burnt out as a result of focusing on my career. I could have burnt out as an entrepreneur, working solo in a therapy practice for years\u2026but I didn\u2019t.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m here to tell my story of burnout prevention in an effort to inspire you to rethink your work-life paradigm. Perhaps I can inspire you to avoid burnout rather than simply recover from it. But before I do, consider your current situation.<\/span><\/p>\n

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Rethink Your Paradigm\u00a0<\/span><\/h3>\n

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Are you driven to be the top of your class, best in your field, numero uno at work? If so, it might lead to great accomplishments, but also keep you stuck in drive.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I recently read a book called <\/span>Relentless<\/span><\/a> which was written by the guy who trained all the biggest super athletes, including Michael Jordan.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

When you\u2019re that focused, determined, and driven, you might get to be number one in the world. But before you pursue that path, consider what you are willing to sacrifice. No one can achieve great feats on their own. Even if you\u2019re all in on your goal, your decision has an impact on other people in your life. If you\u2019re Michael Jordan, this only works as long as your wife\u2019s willing to stay with you despite the fact that you\u2019re hardly ever around and as long as your friends are forgiving that you don’t have time for them.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

There are very few people who are that highly driven to live a life so unbalanced to the extreme. They are the exception, not the rule. That said, thank goodness there are people like Michael Jordan in the world because his accomplishments are so inspiring and we need somebody like that to look up to.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

If we\u2019re honest, this sort of lifestyle is probably not for you and me. It’s probably not for most people. The important thing is not to kid yourself. If you want solid relationships, if you care about your mental and physical health, or if you’re just not willing to sacrifice everything for the one thing and work harder than everybody else, then this is not for you.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

When I was writing my book,<\/span> The 7E Solution to Burnout<\/span><\/a>, I interviewed some of the lawyers who work in the top firms in the world. These partners make millions of dollars a year. Yes, they are super successful\u2026but at what price?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Apparently, for three million dollars, you get to go through a divorce from your spouse, live alone, and spend nights and weekends at the office. You try to socialize with your clients, which is incredibly complicated because not everyone can have a dual relationship and be alright with it.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Or if both of the partners are in the biz, you hire one aupair to take your kids to school in the morning and one to bring them home in the afternoon. You spend all your time working and have the hired help raise your children. Yes, you have more money than most people. But is this the life you want to live? Is work the only thing that really matters to you?<\/span><\/p>\n

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It Starts With Your Values<\/span><\/h3>\n

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When left unexamined, it\u2019s easy to get swept up by societal norms and peer pressure. You see everyone around you working hard, so you work just as hard if not harder, depending on how competitive you are.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Rather than letting other people\u2019s actions dictate your own, take a step back. Consider what truly matters to you. If you\u2019re a super high achiever, why is achievement so important? What does it mean to achieve less than others or to slow down? You\u2019ll find that asking these questions can help you have more insight into what\u2019s driving you from within and that\u2019s how you can start tapping into your values.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I credit my number one value, lifestyle, with the reason for my burnout prevention. From a very young age, I thought about the importance of doing work that was meaningful but also living a full life. It wasn\u2019t easy to figure out how to fill in all the blanks and I found that it took a lot of contemplation, future projections, and planning to make it work for me.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Before I landed on psychology as a profession, I considered my options. What ultimately drew me to the field was the diversity of jobs I could have as a psychologist. If I want to live life on my terms, I need a career that\u2019s flexible. That was step one.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

After I reached a ceiling working for a nonprofit organization, I had to decide on next steps. I considered my options but didn\u2019t like any of them. I realized that if what I want doesn\u2019t exist, I need to create it.<\/span><\/p>\n

But I hesitated. I knew that being an entrepreneur came with a greater risk of burnout. I\u2019d be working on my own, seeing client after client. If I wasn\u2019t careful, I\u2019d end up a statistic.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

So I set up my practice around my most essential value. I needed to consider the lifestyle I was after before diving into the work. I rented an office walking distance from my gym so I could go workout in the middle of the day. This helped me avoid the issue of not having time to exercise after work.<\/span><\/p>\n

I set my hours in such a way that I avoided working nights or weekends. In addition, I clustered my client appointments. Rather than seeing them without a break all day and then staying late to do my paperwork or taking that work home, I saw three to four clients back to back and then immediately completed all the paperwork while the information was fresh in my mind.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It was also important for me to continue to provide value to my clients so I would spend some of that time thinking about our work and next steps, researching resources for them, and emailing those to them so they could implement new thinking or behavioral methods outside of the session. That kept the momentum going for us both and helped me remain engaged in the process, a crucial component for me for burnout prevention.<\/span><\/p>\n

Even if you\u2019re not an entrepreneur who can call all the shots around where and when you work, there is a lot you do have control over to create more balance in your life.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

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What is Balance?<\/span><\/h3>\n

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Many people are allergic to the word balance these days because they think it means a 50\/50 split between work and life, which is unattainable given the number of hours you spend on the job.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Balance doesn’t mean one thing. In fact, it\u2019s very subjective. What feels balanced for a super high achiever like Michael Jordan might feel completely lopsided for you so it\u2019s important to avoid comparing yourself to others.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Start with where you\u2019re at right now. Here are some questions to contemplate:\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n