[et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ fullwidth=”on” _builder_version=”4.8.2″ use_background_color_gradient=”on” background_color_gradient_start=”rgba(0,0,0,0.34)” background_color_gradient_end=”rgba(0,0,0,0.34)” background_color_gradient_end_position=”27%” background_color_gradient_overlays_image=”on” background_image=”https:\/\/drsharongrossman.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/rose-5452046_1920.jpg” bottom_divider_style=”curve2″ bottom_divider_color=”#FFFFFF” bottom_divider_flip=”vertical” da_disable_devices=”off|off|off” locked=”off” global_colors_info=”{}” da_is_popup=”off” da_exit_intent=”off” da_has_close=”on” da_alt_close=”off” da_dark_close=”off” da_not_modal=”on” da_is_singular=”off” da_with_loader=”off” da_has_shadow=”on”][et_pb_fullwidth_header title=”Optimize Your Life” subhead=”Episode #43: Self-Esteem” text_orientation=”center” _builder_version=”4.13.1″ title_font_size=”45px” subhead_font_size=”23px” background_enable_color=”off” use_background_color_gradient=”on” background_color_gradient_start=”rgba(0,0,0,0.14)” background_color_gradient_end=”rgba(0,0,0,0.19)” background_color_gradient_end_position=”28%” background_color_gradient_overlays_image=”on” custom_padding=”80px||180px||false|false” custom_padding_tablet=”” custom_padding_phone=”50px||120px||false|false” custom_padding_last_edited=”on|tablet” hover_enabled=”0″ title_font_size_tablet=”” title_font_size_phone=”30px” title_font_size_last_edited=”on|phone” global_colors_info=”{}” sticky_enabled=”0″][\/et_pb_fullwidth_header][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.11.2″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”||0px||false|false” custom_padding=”||0px||false|false” da_disable_devices=”off|off|off” global_colors_info=”{}” da_is_popup=”off” da_exit_intent=”off” da_has_close=”on” da_alt_close=”off” da_dark_close=”off” da_not_modal=”on” da_is_singular=”off” da_with_loader=”off” da_has_shadow=”on”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.8.2″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.8.2″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.13.1″ _module_preset=”default” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n
Hello and welcome back to another exciting episode of Optimize Your Life. This week, we\u2019re going to dive into a topic that affects every single one of us, self-esteem.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n When we talk about self-esteem, what are we referring to? We want to get a good understanding of the definition of this term. This will help us get a sense of where to look for the answers to all those questions you have in your mind…questions like:<\/span><\/p>\n We\u2019ll let these questions lead our quest.<\/span><\/p>\n To start us off, let me define how you can think about self-esteem. In a sense, it\u2019s how you perceive yourself. Do you value yourself? Surely, you have certain beliefs that lead you to either having high self-esteem whereby you feel confident and secure or you have beliefs that lead you to doubt yourself and feel inferior to others.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Before we dive into this further, I want to highlight the importance of this definition. You see, if it\u2019s your <\/span>beliefs<\/b> that either lead to high or low self-esteem, and beliefs are something you can change, you can, by definition, change your self-esteem. So if you\u2019ve struggled with low self-esteem your whole life, I want you to know that it is possible to reverse this.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n We\u2019re going to uncover what it takes to live your life in a brighter and fuller way by changing your relationship with yourself.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n There\u2019s a reason I talk about your relationship with yourself. You see, self-esteem doesn\u2019t have to be stagnant. If your self-esteem is currently low, think of it as a sign that you need to work on the way you relate to yourself.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Because here\u2019s what happens when you don\u2019t. You aren\u2019t as able to make <\/span>decisions<\/b>, to recognize your <\/span>strengths<\/b>, to accept compliments, to try new things, to move past mistakes, and you are more likely to <\/span>sabotage<\/b> yourself.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Now if you\u2019re listening to this, it\u2019s because this speaks to you and you want to find a way to do it differently.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Some people say that it\u2019s nearly impossible to change your self-esteem because of how difficult it is to change the way you think. Maybe you have a history of being bullied at school or criticized by your parents. You\u2019ve internalized the negative voice and now it\u2019s become your own. This negativity seeps into every aspect of your life creating more <\/span>stress<\/b>, <\/span>anxiety<\/b>, and <\/span>overwhelm<\/b> at work, leading to mental health problems, relationship problems, and even money problems.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n If you lack self-esteem you might shy away from others, keeping yourself isolated for fear of being rejected. The thought might be something like, \u201cI\u2019m not that interesting. People won\u2019t like me,\u201d so when Saturday night comes around, you stay home. This, as you can see, is a <\/span>self-fulfilling prophecy<\/b> because if you\u2019re not putting yourself out there, no one can find you interesting and when you don\u2019t have friends, you attribute it to the idea that you\u2019re not interesting.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n I say this not to blame you for this issue, but to point out the power of your beliefs and the importance of dominating your mind.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n If you have low self-esteem you might feel <\/span>worthless<\/b>. In fact, there are two main ways I think of self-esteem. I think it relates to <\/span>self-worth<\/b> or how valuable you consider yourself and to <\/span>self-efficacy<\/b> which is about your belief in your ability to achieve a goal. One is more global and another is more action-oriented. They are both important but your self-efficacy can affect your global sense of worth and vice versa.<\/span><\/p>\n You see, if you believe you can achieve something, you\u2019re going to pour yourself into your work and make it happen. When you do so, you might walk away with the thought, \u201cI\u2019m capable\u201d which gives you more of a sense of worth. But when you don\u2019t believe in your worth, you might also have some limiting thoughts like, \u201cI don\u2019t deserve success\u201d which leads to <\/span>self-sabotage.<\/b><\/p>\n Either way, the key is this: If your self-esteem isn\u2019t where you want it to be, you need to work on your mind. You need to change your<\/span> limiting beliefs<\/b> and clear the path toward those feel-good feeling that you\u2019re not allowing yourself to experience.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n At the end of the day, you may not believe you deserve better but as long as you want more, you can take the next step to get you there. And with practice, eventually things will shift and you\u2019ll start to believe that you do deserve your success and happiness.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n When I coach people, I always start by finding out where they are and where they want to be instead. So if you\u2019re currently critical of yourself and you want to be in a place where you trust yourself, believe in your abilities and your worth, and feel good about yourself, you have your goal clearly defined. Now we just have to fill in the gap.<\/span><\/p>\n Here\u2019s the truth: You can make yourself believe what you want to believe. You just have to be consistent. Can you commit to doing this for yourself for the next couple of months?<\/span><\/p>\n I like to measure things to see progress along the way. So if you\u2019re on board with this idea of shifting your self-esteem, I invite you to measure your current level with one of the world\u2019s most famous assessments, the <\/span>Rosenberg Self-Esteem Scale<\/span><\/a>. I\u2019ll put the link in the show notes.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n\n